With the life-altering news that Gus Johnson is being groomed to be the voice of the 2018 World Cup, the only thing left to contemplate is whether or not I should try to go into a five-year hibernation until the magical day arrives or whether I should simply put the 2014 World Cup on mute and use a Gus Johnson soundboard to get me through the tournament instead of kidnapping Gus and making him announce from my living room, kind of like that crazy old woman did to the guy in that Stephen King book “Misery.”
Seriously, how much better will Gus Johnson make soccer? For all those people who are turned off by the lack of excitement and actual scoring that goes on in the sport, listening to Gus go into cardiac arrest when someone actually scores on a header will be more than enough to make up for the 80 minutes of passing back and forth near midfield.
Come on. Seriously, come on.
What the hell? It didn’t even look like anything when it happened. Suddenly there were whispers on Twitter of a possible serious Rondo knee injury. The MRI had been performed, but the results couldn’t be confirmed.
What happened next made the whole thing seem even more surreal than it already was. For the first time in a long time for the sports world, news was broken by a sideline reporter. I was searching the internet at a furious rate trying to find somebody to confirm it, figuring that one of the big time basketball reporters was going to have the exclusive, and Doris Burke breaks the news on TV? People were sourcing Doris Burke on the worst possible news that could happen to the Boston Celtics.
The Boston Celtics have played 41 games so far this season. Each to a varying degree of mediocrity. Doc has failed to nail down the correct rotations and players that were signed to contribute consistently, well, don’t.
All of that stuff we will get to, but the 41-game mark is an important one. It’s the halfway point of the season. You can really take a step back and get a good idea of where a team is at, whether they can improve or if everybody from the owner’s Taiwanese mistress to the towel boy is going to get the axe.
That’s why I’m going to go around the league (no not the “association” you ass) and break down every team into neat little summaries.
“Chasing the dragon” refers to the elusive pursuit of the ultimate high in the usage of some particular drug.
There’s a perception in this world that everyone has to enjoy the journey – the total experience – of doing something worthwhile. In any walk of life, we’re always advised to stop and smell the roses along the way, because they won’t always be there.
Don’t take things for granted. You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.
It’s hard to rationally declare that the New England Patriots 2012 season wasn’t worthwhile, but if I stop and smell the roses I might throw up. And trust me – I know what I’ve got. I’m not happy with it. Three days after the Pats were held to their lowest point total in three years and were eliminated 28-13 by the Baltimore Ravens in the AFC Championship game, I still can’t shake the feeling that despite being one of the final four teams left, it simply wasn’t good enough.
I want to write about other things, like the impending NFL Conference Championship Games. I want to write more about how Lance Armstrong is a fraud, and he’ll go down as the biggest liar in sports, which is really quite an accomplishment if you think about it. I’d even like to write about the NHL season beginning tomorrow.
But how can I? I can barely remember who the Patriots are playing on Sunday, with this Manti Te’o story changing seemingly by the hour. It’s the most bizarre sports-related story I’ve ever heard, and in no way is that an exaggeration. It’s sad, but it’s also captivating. It’s got that car wreck quality to it, and I’m the guy going 25 miles per hour in a 60 mph zone, trying to figure out what happened.